Ay dios mio!!!

It has been forever &5 days since the last post. Honestly, I had given up on this blog, but my Bestie boo called me back to it this evening. I heart you, lol!

Recap on the past year or so.... umm lets see, i've had a lot of ups and downs, smiles and frowns, highs and lows, I fell in love and sadly it shows, hahahahaha! j/k kinda (I got carried away there)... I did fall in love and packed on a few pounds towards the end of last year. It's crazy because this relationship has changed me in so many ways. I am already very confident and yet still insecure at times. Initially I thought the reason I would have my moments of being insecure was because entering this relationship I was the heaviest I had ever been and my boyfriend is attractive and fit. (I'm finally with a guy that i'm extremely attracted to and i'm the damn size of a hippo, smh!!!) He is everything I wanted him to be, but I was not where I wanted to be, so It caused a lot of internal struggles for me but my baby loves me for me, thank God! What I love the most is that he has a funny way of making me feel beautiful even on my worst day.

But naturally as things progressed, he made me happier and I felt accepted, loved and comfortable around him so I ate more and worked out less, lol! One day I was throwing myself a pity party and It finally clicked, my reasons for being insecure had nothing to do with him. I thought to myself "this guy could literally have any person on this earth and he has chosen to be with me, and he makes me feel beautiful inside and out so why would I sabotage my own happiness because I am not happy with myself personally?" I definitely didn't want to continue to cause rifts in my relationship because of my own become a typical over-weight person with low self-esteem. I realized that day, that until I learn to love myself(again)first and foremost, I will never be truly happy with myself or in a relationship with anyone else if I dont take better care of myself physically and mentally.

As long as I have faith &believe in myself, I will always succeed and accomplish anything that is set before me. Translation,*drum roll please* I started a new diet plan AGAIN!!! =]

I have been at it on and off since February. When at that time, I told myself I wanted to be down 80lbs by my 26th birthday in November and I was going to have a BIG party to show off my accomplishment. Needless to say, I did not maintain my inital game plan. However, I got my second wind in June and this time everything is different! I am far more determined than I have ever been. My perspective on life has changed dramatically in the past 3months. I am finally at a point in my life where I am tired of quick fixes and I am committed to making the lasting life changes necessary to give me the results I know I can achieve and deserve.

Yesterday was my very first kickboxing class. It was sooo much fun! but to be frank, it kicked my ass. My thighs have been so sore all day, you would have thought I was wrestling in the sheets for 5hrs or something of that nature, hahaha! *yawn* i'm starting to nod out, it's been real blogspot, i'll catch up with you tomorrow.

Good nite XOXO!!!