It has been forever &5 days since the last post. Honestly, I had given up on this blog, but my Bestie boo called me back to it this evening. I heart you, lol!
Recap on the past year or so.... umm lets see, i've had a lot of ups and downs, smiles and frowns, highs and lows, I fell in love and sadly it shows, hahahahaha! j/k kinda (I got carried away there)... I did fall in love and packed on a few pounds towards the end of last year. It's crazy because this relationship has changed me in so many ways. I am already very confident and yet still insecure at times. Initially I thought the reason I would have my moments of being insecure was because entering this relationship I was the heaviest I had ever been and my boyfriend is attractive and fit. (I'm finally with a guy that i'm extremely attracted to and i'm the damn size of a hippo, smh!!!) He is everything I wanted him to be, but I was not where I wanted to be, so It caused a lot of internal struggles for me but my baby loves me for me, thank God! What I love the most is that he has a funny way of making me feel beautiful even on my worst day.
But naturally as things progressed, he made me happier and I felt accepted, loved and comfortable around him so I ate more and worked out less, lol! One day I was throwing myself a pity party and It finally clicked, my reasons for being insecure had nothing to do with him. I thought to myself "this guy could literally have any person on this earth and he has chosen to be with me, and he makes me feel beautiful inside and out so why would I sabotage my own happiness because I am not happy with myself personally?" I definitely didn't want to continue to cause rifts in my relationship because of my own become a typical over-weight person with low self-esteem. I realized that day, that until I learn to love myself(again)first and foremost, I will never be truly happy with myself or in a relationship with anyone else if I dont take better care of myself physically and mentally.
As long as I have faith &believe in myself, I will always succeed and accomplish anything that is set before me. Translation,*drum roll please* I started a new diet plan AGAIN!!! =]
I have been at it on and off since February. When at that time, I told myself I wanted to be down 80lbs by my 26th birthday in November and I was going to have a BIG party to show off my accomplishment. Needless to say, I did not maintain my inital game plan. However, I got my second wind in June and this time everything is different! I am far more determined than I have ever been. My perspective on life has changed dramatically in the past 3months. I am finally at a point in my life where I am tired of quick fixes and I am committed to making the lasting life changes necessary to give me the results I know I can achieve and deserve.
Yesterday was my very first kickboxing class. It was sooo much fun! but to be frank, it kicked my ass. My thighs have been so sore all day, you would have thought I was wrestling in the sheets for 5hrs or something of that nature, hahaha! *yawn* i'm starting to nod out, it's been real blogspot, i'll catch up with you tomorrow.
Good nite XOXO!!!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Ooooh M GhhheeeZ!!! Its Nia!
Hahahhaa! yes, i am laughing out loud <-seriously!
Ok, so i'm sitting on my couch folding clothes and I turned the t.v. on for some background noise.... there's a new show on FOX called "More to Love", wtf!?! lol http://www.fox.com/moretolove/
This girl on here just said, " Guys i think are afraid to date a bigger girl and they love the skinny bitches, they do! I dont know why? I think i'm hot and i'm not going to change myself for anybody. My junk in mu trunk, i got a lot of it and i love it!"
This shit is going to be hilarious!!! They're about to be dramatic and emotional to the max!!!!!!!!!! yey! I just found my new show to watch while i'm on the treadmil or eliptical. =]
Well I have to get my lil man in the bath and reay for bed, ttys
Ok, so i'm sitting on my couch folding clothes and I turned the t.v. on for some background noise.... there's a new show on FOX called "More to Love", wtf!?! lol http://www.fox.com/moretolove/
This girl on here just said, " Guys i think are afraid to date a bigger girl and they love the skinny bitches, they do! I dont know why? I think i'm hot and i'm not going to change myself for anybody. My junk in mu trunk, i got a lot of it and i love it!"
This shit is going to be hilarious!!! They're about to be dramatic and emotional to the max!!!!!!!!!! yey! I just found my new show to watch while i'm on the treadmil or eliptical. =]
Well I have to get my lil man in the bath and reay for bed, ttys
Bigger and biggerrr
June 2009
March 2009
November 2008
Feb 2008 && yes that is toothpaste on my face... I have pimples from time to time. :] 
October 2007
Day2 ... Get w/the program Nia!
So............. today is day 2 for this blog, I have yet to work out. But for what's its worth I have thought a lot about doing some type of activity. lol
This morning my lil one and I had to walk across to the parking lot on the other side of our housing complex.. My son was so happy that we were walking. (he is a 3 yr old with overwhelming energy) The whole way over to the car, he kept singing..."we're walking to the car, we're walking to the car" ... I on the other hand, dreaded the fact that we were "walking to the car". We were already running 15 minutes late and I know the walk really wouldn't be setting us back but I so wished that my car was conveniently parked in my garage instead. But I guess that's why I'm struggling with 100+ extra pounds, B/c I couldn't slow down enough to enjoy a small simple walk to the car. lol
On my drive home from work today I was thinking about activities that I could do to fit in exercise but also include my son. (My first excuse for not being able to work out is, "I didn't have a baby sitter" )I figured we could go for a walk to the park, but when I picked him up from school the thought of walking in the hot hot heat was no longer appealing to me. Then as I'm turning into my apartment complex, I see a very fit man running in the hot hot heat. of course first thought to mind was, ...this fucking guy! lol I seriously had to laugh at myself then, because he wasn't letting the heat determine wether or not he was going to do something positive for himself today. however, that wasn't enough to get me out of the house once I walked in. I'm a horrible person for complaining about my weight/size and doing nothing about it I know.... but fuck it at least I'm being honest about it!
My goal for the next two days is to do a minimum of 2 things outside of the house that could be considered a form of exercise. I'm hoping to make up for yesterday and today obviously. but mainly because as I am sitting here writing this the thought of my son and his natural craving for physical activity came to mind. I need to strongly increase my fitness level very quickly because today my son is 3 years old and extremely active and I don't want to think that in 10 years from now he is a couch potato that does absolutely nothing but watch TV and play video games all because his mother did not participate in physical activities with him or encourage him to play outside. He will quickly tell you that when he turns 4 in November he can play baseball and soccer(the enrollment age is 4). I definitely want to provide him every opportunity to play as many sports as he is willing to play. I believe involvement in sports help teach young kids how to share and over time sports activities help keep kids grounded and keep them goal orientated. Sports also offer a great way to stay in shape and also teach people how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Damn, I wish my dad would have let me play soccer when I wanted to.... I could have the most beautiful looking thighs ever!
Well, I have to work early so its ttym for now! Gdnite!!! :]
P.s. Tomorrow I will post my before pics and maybe some past before and after pics of many years of battling the bulge. hahaha!
This morning my lil one and I had to walk across to the parking lot on the other side of our housing complex.. My son was so happy that we were walking. (he is a 3 yr old with overwhelming energy) The whole way over to the car, he kept singing..."we're walking to the car, we're walking to the car" ... I on the other hand, dreaded the fact that we were "walking to the car". We were already running 15 minutes late and I know the walk really wouldn't be setting us back but I so wished that my car was conveniently parked in my garage instead. But I guess that's why I'm struggling with 100+ extra pounds, B/c I couldn't slow down enough to enjoy a small simple walk to the car. lol
On my drive home from work today I was thinking about activities that I could do to fit in exercise but also include my son. (My first excuse for not being able to work out is, "I didn't have a baby sitter" )I figured we could go for a walk to the park, but when I picked him up from school the thought of walking in the hot hot heat was no longer appealing to me. Then as I'm turning into my apartment complex, I see a very fit man running in the hot hot heat. of course first thought to mind was, ...this fucking guy! lol I seriously had to laugh at myself then, because he wasn't letting the heat determine wether or not he was going to do something positive for himself today. however, that wasn't enough to get me out of the house once I walked in. I'm a horrible person for complaining about my weight/size and doing nothing about it I know.... but fuck it at least I'm being honest about it!
My goal for the next two days is to do a minimum of 2 things outside of the house that could be considered a form of exercise. I'm hoping to make up for yesterday and today obviously. but mainly because as I am sitting here writing this the thought of my son and his natural craving for physical activity came to mind. I need to strongly increase my fitness level very quickly because today my son is 3 years old and extremely active and I don't want to think that in 10 years from now he is a couch potato that does absolutely nothing but watch TV and play video games all because his mother did not participate in physical activities with him or encourage him to play outside. He will quickly tell you that when he turns 4 in November he can play baseball and soccer(the enrollment age is 4). I definitely want to provide him every opportunity to play as many sports as he is willing to play. I believe involvement in sports help teach young kids how to share and over time sports activities help keep kids grounded and keep them goal orientated. Sports also offer a great way to stay in shape and also teach people how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Damn, I wish my dad would have let me play soccer when I wanted to.... I could have the most beautiful looking thighs ever!
Well, I have to work early so its ttym for now! Gdnite!!! :]
P.s. Tomorrow I will post my before pics and maybe some past before and after pics of many years of battling the bulge. hahaha!
Monday, July 27, 2009
beginnings
so, here i am currently at 5'7 & 3/4 and almost 215 lbs. with a bag of chips in hand, no less. not to mention i am BEYOND pale. sad seeing how it is midway through the summer, haha.
woah, MAC hello kitty. oh so sparkly.
HI. my name is randi. yes, it is a girl's name sometimes. i'm 23, in college, and i work part time. i enjoy going out for drinks, watching a good documentary film/TV show, and browsing for stuff on ebay i'll probably never buy. oh, did i mention i'm fat? overweight. thick. chubby. whatever you wanna call it.
i've usually always been this size. i say usually because there were two periods of time when i wasn't a chubbo. the first was when i was around 11 or 12, and i was actively playing travel softball--so i stayed working out regularly, while weighing around 160. after quitting sports in 8th grade, i gained almost 30 lbs. after i graduated high school, i somehow dropped close to 40 lbs, and weighed around 180 when i started working at a retail job in the mall. after switching jobs a few times, i finally ended up finding one i liked and became accustomed to eating very unhealthy during lunch breaks. this is where my "fast food" addiction all began. every day it was something new, and i actually looked forward to getting my daily dose of grease each day.
now, a year later, i dont eat as horribly but i'm definitely still paying the price. i crave fatty foods constantly and physical activity is pretty much non existant. all of my "habits" are just that--habits. whether it be physical, dietary, or sleeping, i don't get the correct amount i need to feel healthy.
SO, with all of that said, here i am posting in this blog. as vania mentioned, we came up with the idea to create a blog together. the number 180 is significant for two reasons. first, it's our GOAL weight. while ultimately we know that a number shouldn't determine how you feel about yourself, we both agreed that 180 is the weight we'd most feel comfortable and would like to be at. secondly, 180 not only represents the goal weight but it also stands for a full circle, as it is in geometrical terms.
anyway, it's late, and this is super long (sorry) thanks for sticking with me if you did. i might actually come back and edit, haha.
goodnight!
i've usually always been this size. i say usually because there were two periods of time when i wasn't a chubbo. the first was when i was around 11 or 12, and i was actively playing travel softball--so i stayed working out regularly, while weighing around 160. after quitting sports in 8th grade, i gained almost 30 lbs. after i graduated high school, i somehow dropped close to 40 lbs, and weighed around 180 when i started working at a retail job in the mall. after switching jobs a few times, i finally ended up finding one i liked and became accustomed to eating very unhealthy during lunch breaks. this is where my "fast food" addiction all began. every day it was something new, and i actually looked forward to getting my daily dose of grease each day.
now, a year later, i dont eat as horribly but i'm definitely still paying the price. i crave fatty foods constantly and physical activity is pretty much non existant. all of my "habits" are just that--habits. whether it be physical, dietary, or sleeping, i don't get the correct amount i need to feel healthy.
SO, with all of that said, here i am posting in this blog. as vania mentioned, we came up with the idea to create a blog together. the number 180 is significant for two reasons. first, it's our GOAL weight. while ultimately we know that a number shouldn't determine how you feel about yourself, we both agreed that 180 is the weight we'd most feel comfortable and would like to be at. secondly, 180 not only represents the goal weight but it also stands for a full circle, as it is in geometrical terms.
anyway, it's late, and this is super long (sorry) thanks for sticking with me if you did. i might actually come back and edit, haha.
goodnight!
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